On Jello

Occasionally there is a "Jello salad" on the dinner menu. In celebration of nostalgia, or of bad ideas, I order it whenever it's there. Already there has been Jello with marshmallows, a Jello square with chunks of orange, pineapple, and grated carrot ("Sunshine Salad"), and Bavarian jello (light on the Bavarian, I thought). Reader, I ate them.

We sat with Bob and Connie Atkins. Bob was a surgeon (Dr. Atkins) who finished his studies just as war broke out, which meant he started his 50+ year career as an Army doctor. He was kind but reserved, and too cool to be eager, giving plenty of time to answer my questions, sometimes so much that he'd never answer at all. Sparse comments trickled out in his soft-spoken, warbled voice, verging on tipsy sounding. His wife Connie was far gone with dementia. She had beady eyes and chubby cheeks that maintained optimum chubbiness by her smile as she'd recite seemingly the sole memory she had left, one about her grandkids pretending to be operated on by their grandpa, as I pictured, out of a kind of 1950s nuclear family reverence for the patriarch, giving their grandfather a chance to demonstrate his knowledge. Dr. Atkins looked on her with not a trace of impatience or embarrassment, although I knew he was also keeping track of her repetition. He added new details to each repeated anecdote.

On perhaps her fourth recitation, when she started "Do you know what the kids used to do?" I restrained myself from saying "Yes" and instead said to her husband, "Sounds like that's her favorite story," to which he, while remaining totally motionless, closed his eyes in response. I thought to myself, That is an offbeat but surprisingly effective way of responding to someone you don't give a shit about, something I hadn't ever seen before or tried myself. I made a mental note to do so someday, for when I want to convey "That's enough." Or maybe he closed his eyes in response to the arrival of my Jello, which was the Sunshine Salad. He opened his eyes eventually and it was at this time that he chose to tell me that he was specifically a stomach surgeon through the war. He later added that he operated on the famous baseball player Ty Cobb, who apparently made most of his money not through celebrity but through Coca Cola stocks and eventually ruined himself in retirement with alcoholism. Dr. Atkins operated on Cobb at this later stage, when he was all bloated and unhealthy. It was a long story made longer by interjections of his wife's repeated anecdote, with a punchline that was something like, "And I bet I am the only one who can say 'I shot Ty Cobb in the butt!'"

Anyway for the rest of the evening I trapped myself in an internet investigation into the history of Jello and looked at images of old recipes, all of which look like the cooking of a housewife on the brink of a barbiturates breakdown. That housewife would have been me---the one who nobody would really speak to anymore except in careful cooing tones, the one who out of unspeakable anxiety over everything wrong with her life would spend all day while the kids were at school and husband at work in an apron, listening to Lawrence Welk and encasing the entire house in gelatin. The sofa, knives, transistor radio, the husband's shoe horn; Toby, the family border collie.


This article gives a brief history of the post-war Jello craze, and touches on the maddeningly obvious co-optation with other empirical US brands (as seen in the pictures, note the Kraft and Philadelphia etc.); this website, one from a Jello Museum in upstate New York, provides a concise yet thorough history of Jello's beginnings as well as several recipes taken from books with titles like "Bright Spots For Wartime Meals - 66 Ration-Wise Recipes 1944." Take note of the interesting TRIVA on the side.






Grandpa's desk

In a recent email, aunt Meg recommended that I open the drawers of grandpa's desk and take one deep smell, as she did as a kid, and as she still does when she visits. It was such a good idea that i simply must share it here. Even if you don't manage to come here to see grandpa's desk, smell any desk you find, just in case it smells anything like this one. Rich smoke and rubber and pencil shavings. "Academia" eau de parfum. 




December 27, 2PM

After breakfast I said to Grandma that it might be nice for her to join me in the piano room while I play. She is eager to go. "I'll just get ready," she says.

So I am sitting on the floor playing Grandpa's guitar waiting for her. She turns from me towards the hallway leading to her bedroom, which is an arc that almost guarantees catching sight of some letter or magazine or card. Indeed, she's been caught, now hunching forward and hovering over a paper on the table. I don't have it in me to snatch it from her and tell her it's pointless to read, it's an events flyer from last July, it's a waste of the time I'd like to use to walk down to the piano room with you, so she carries on reading it while I cringe a little. "Easter Carnival at Clark-Lindsey" she reads out loud, like she's an audiobook narrator reading the title of a new chapter, giving each word a wide berth. She reads the rest of the flyer slowly and carefully: "...from one PM to three PM...games, caricature drawings, face painting..."

"Any music?" I ask. The subtlest hint I could muster.

She does not hear me and instead continues at her steady pace. "Funnel cakes, popcorn, and Other. Light. Ree-freshments."

Eventually she reads to the bottom. "July 16........ oh." She breaks from her reading and looks up at the wall and then turns back to me and looks at me looking at her and she asks "What was I doing again?"

I tell her that if she'd still like to, we were about to walk to the piano room.

"Yes, OK," she says as if deciding for the first time. She looks down at her hands on her walker. "Well I am ready."

"Grandma," I say, standing to face her. "Allow me to suggest that you may want to put on pants."

She looks past her hands this time, down at her wrinkly ruddy pink legs in a pair of Grandpa's briefs. She gives a soft giggle and says, "Yes you are probably right."